I met Ness in somewhat sad circumstances, soon after her cancer diagnosis. A member of the local cancer support group, which meets in North Berwick Library once a month, I remember Ness joining us one day and and sharing the obviously stressful details of her first diagnosis...

But that's not the beginning of the story! My husband had met her first, and it took a few conversations with Ness before it dawned on us both that we already kind of knew about one another. A friend of mine had tied a small poster advertising a meeting about anti-fracking, or something, to Ness and Stefan's front fence, reasoning that she had seen a poster for something else there before, so it must be okay.

Well, Ness contacted me (via the contact details on the poster) to ask that the poster be taken down, as it was on her property! And I was too scared to go and do it because I am essentially a coward (meeting Ness later, I wondered how I could possibly have been worried, lol), so I sent my husband. Ha ha ha.

And when my husband returned, he said Ness had been entirely reasonable (of course), and merely explained that the poster my friend had previously seen on Ness's fence was one for the movie club that Ness had put there herself, it being, you know, her property.

So I was slightly embarrassed but when Ness and I worked out (about four years later) that I had been the one too scared to retrieve the poster, we did laugh.

And then, of course, we had the monthly cancer support meetings in North Berwick Library, which were not the most joyous of events, necessitating, as they did, deep-felt and emotional conversations about our illnesses. Sharing the details of these conversations is neither necessary nor desirable but I will say that Ness was always so supportive of others in the room, listening with kindness, sharing her experiences with empathy and lifting the mood with often keen-eyed wit. 

I remember, particularly, joining Ness for a cup of tea in her beautiful garden one sunny afternoon. It was so peaceful, and idyllic, and we put the entire world to rights in just a couple of hours. She was funny, so proud of her garden, quick-witted, kind, understanding, generous with her support, and though I generally hate to say this of cancer patients, because it is so cliched, she was truly so, so brave. I honestly never thought we would lose her. The world is a duller place without her – I'll use her memory to keep the shine.